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The group that I was adventuring with decided that we needed to hire some muscle. We did, and we happened upon a wonderful Lieutenant that seemed to have a control over his soldiers that was totally incomparable anywhere! It didn't matter what he said to march into, they followed—a little leery of the flanks—but always going where he pointed out.
We came upon a cave of human bandits. The same group that had been raiding the local villages, and we decided that now that we had some backup, it was the perfect time to exact some revenge. We made short work of the front parts of the cave, but became very weary of traps and hidden corners in the dark before we got halfway down to the main boss. About a hour after clearing this dungeon, we came across a doorway, we had all been equipped with Greek Fire before coming down, by one of the village mayors. He was so nice as to even give us several flasks. I was so glad that I had kept mine, I figured that it would come in handy down here. I noticed rather quickly that everyone was pulling up a flask and reading it, in case we came upon a quiet bit of trouble hidden in the darkness.
The lieutenant opened the door, and there stood a roomful of bandits gearing up to come and take out the infiltrators to their lair (namely us). The man only had one command, "THROW!", and so 10 of us he very quickly shut the door with his pike and all that could be heard for several minutes was the screaming of the bandits being burnt alive. Needless to say, we managed very well cleaning up the rest of the dungeon, but found out once we got back to the village, that our wonderful find of a lieutenant had a serious flaw, he was fearless. Such was the reason we got him at such a low price for hire. I must say, that it cured him of his fearlessness very quickly!
Picture it if you will... A 7 ft tall half-ogre barbarian (obviously) wielding a 9 foot long sword... A mischievous sylph, swinging in a nearby tree...
Sylph : Hey big guy
Gar : Who say that?
Sylph : Over here!
Gar moves in for a closer look…
Gar : You so tiny! Who you?
Sylph : Me? I’m just a figment of your imagination…
Gar : Huh?
Sylph : I’m in your head. You only think I’m here.
Gar : You my think?
Sylph : Close enough…
And so Gar and the Sylph (his think) began their travels, the Sylph riding in Gar’s long flowing hair (which all good barbarians should have). Soon they were accosted by a group of bandits. The Sylph swung into action, and whispered in Gar’s ear…
Sylph : Tell them you’re a powerful sorcerer.
Gar : Huh?
Sylph : A magician, you know, with great powers…
Gar : Huh?
Sylph : *Sighs* Big ju-ju, much magic.
Gar : Ah. Hey you puny bandits. You not mess with Gar. Gar big ju-ju…
The bandits fall about laughing…
Sylph : Now wave at that tree over there, and say some magic words.
Gar : But Gar got no Ju-ju…
Sylph : Just do it.
Gar waves his massive arm at a nearby tree and yells
Gar : Oogedey boogedey!
The Sylph, from his position hiding in Gar’s hair, casts a fireball, obliterating the tree and sending the bandits running. Gar looks at his own hand in terror, then runs himself, the Sylph clinging to his hair all the while…
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